chaque jour est même

1.
What's in the front right pocket of your pants?
Nothing.


2.
How many eggs have you eaten this week?
None.  But I cooked two.


3.
If you could invade any state in America, which would it be and why?
I kinda got over invading places a couple of centuries ago.


4.
Have you ever taken public transportation without wearing a vital piece of clothing?
No. Oh wait...


5.
What's the weirdest thing you ever ate with ketchup?
I've never had ketchup.


6. Prove your cat's weirder than mine. Go ahead. I'm waiting.
I'm more of  a dog person.


7.
What's the most horrific thing that ever happened to you at the dentist's office (no molestation stories, please)?
I was the one who caused the horrific things.


8.
Have you ever had your photo in a newspaper? Why?
Yes. Serial killer?


9.
Have you ever appeared in a newspaper's police blotter? If so, what did you do, man?
Probably. Lots of things.


10. Have you ever listened to Murder by Death? Of course you haven't. Would you go find one of their songs, listen to it and tell me how much you love them and how thankful you are I directed you to them?
No and no.


11.
Do you listen to mainstream radio? If yes, do you realize Clean Channel and Infinity are reprogramming your brain? Why else do you think Linkin Park sell records?
No.


12.
If you could smear one flavor of ice cream on your windshield so that Tawny Kittaen could slide all over it in a Whitesnake video, what kind would it be?
I guess chocolate and peanut butter, and I already said I am more of a dog person.


13. So ... Law & Order, huh?
I try?


14.
Quickly! Name one thing that if every member of the opposite sex found out about you instantly would prevent you from ever having the sex again?
Once, I had sex and reverted to a violent soulless killer. The time after that, I got someone pregnant.


15.
Quickly! Name one thing that if every member of the opposite sex found out about you instantly would win you the sex?
Nah, I don't wanna brag.


16.
What do you like to do after drinking beer? Sex isn't an option.
Nothing in particular. Maybe read.


17.
Have you ever gotten stitches? How many and why?
Yes. I don't count them, and because I have a habit of getting run through with things.


18.
In all seriousness, please explain this Dave Matthews Band phenomenon.
Is that a demon?


19.
What's the worst movie you saw this year?
Twilight. Wait, was this a trick to make me admit that I went to see that?


20.
What's the worst song you heard this year?
I don't know the name of it. Something about a circus.


21.
Do you think pro athletes should be permitted to take anabolic steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs? Why or why not?
No. iI's not safe.


22.
Who's more evil? Satan or Dick Cheney?
Well, I've never personally met Cheney, but on paper he tops Satan.


23.
What do you want for Christmas? If you say world peace, I'll kill you.
Do you even know how bad world peace was?


24.
Did anyone, when they first heard the name of this band, actually think Aerosmith was Steven Tyler's name?
No, I didn't really pay attention.


25.
You're at work, you can't stay awake, yet you have to. What's your secret to prevent yourself from dropping off into dreamland?
Will power.


26.
What's your favorite kind of cake? Why should it be my favorite, too?
I haven't had cake in a very long time.


27.
Open up the phone book and pick the first name you see. Then, grab a book and insert that person's name into the first passage you see.
I don't think I should do that.


28.
What do you find offensive?
Evil, and overly complex electronic gadgets. Which are probably evil, now that I think about it.


29.
What REALISTIC GOAL do you hope to accomplish before the year is over?
Save the world.


30.
Finish this lyric: "Any asshole can open up a museum..."
That's a lyric? Okay.